Sunday, 27 February 2011

Caption Competition

Who ever comes up with the best caption wins one copy of a Jamie Oliver Cook book Competition ends 31st December 2011.

You can either leave your details on the comment page (including an email address) or you can register to comment to make sure it is bona fide.

Is Sarah Palin a fruit loop?

Jamie Oliver, something of a celebrity tv chef, caused raspberry ripples today when he announced to the world, his expert opinion on Sarah Palin and American politics in general.

Taking a break out of the battle against obesity, Oliver said in an interview that Sarah Palin is a "fruitloop" for taking issue with Michelle Obama.
You can watch the interview by

clicking here

---- If you think I'm being unfair or if you think fruit loops are delicious and nutritious, let me know on the comments section ----

It is important to understand where the backlash against Palin has come from. During an episode of Sarah Palin's Alaska, Palin declares that "dessert is in honour" of the First Lady "who said the other day we should not have dessert". A shit storm ensued and I presume this is where JO has built his platform for why Palin is a fruit loop.

Does Jamie Oliver believe in the saying "do as I say, not as I do" which Michelle Obama has taken to heart?

A roll call of MO's greatest gaffes; other than being proud to be an American for the first time in her life, when her husband was elected President, (Obviously the civil rights era, abolishment of slavery etc etc, do not figure in her minds eye as being worthy)but they also include lecturing restaurants on the size of the portions they give to customers.

Talk about dangerously teetering on the edge of oblivion. I am sure there are a lot of private sector businesses in the food industry who would take exception to being lectured to.

Remember Joe Biden's altercation with the owner of a Frozen Custard shop? Poor Joe began as he meant to go on, walking around demanding "Where is the ice cream? Where's the ice cream." Okay, moving on from VP Dumbass.

I ask of this the same Jamie Oliver who promotes the idea of healthy living through organic foodstuffs, by purchasing it from select stores? (A UK supermarket called Sainsbury's which caters specifically for the upper middle class). Sainsbury's pay him handsomely for his official endorsement to reassure the consumer that if Jamie Oliver says it's good, it must be great?

Is this Jamie, or a doppelganger?

Does Jamie Oliver have any credibility left to lecture others on policy when he is nothing more than a marketing tool?

In all fairness to Sarah Palin....if she is a fruit loop then Jamie Oliver is a chump Sorry, chomp.

Did Sarah Palin kill Bambi's mother?

Everyone remembers know the cutesy little film about the fawn that loses his mother to some fiend with a rifle?

You know..the heart wrenching moment when his mother tells him to run and not look back. Everyone knows what is coming next. Bambi (the fawn) is left all alone, then his father turns up ---I guess that is alimony taken care of kind of a way about him--- and off they trot.

Is there an analogy in there, that Sarah Palin is responsible for killing Bambi's mother as much as she is responsible for Tucson?

---If you think I'm being cruel to Sarah Palin, or Bambi, or that I'm not being quite as cruel as you'd like me to be, let me know on the comments section below! I love feedback---

Afterall it is implied that Bambi's mother is killed by a hunter and as we all know Palin does her fair share of hunting. She demonstrates this to us all in her television series "Sarah Palin's Alaska where in one episode she downs Mr Moose, whose only crime was to be the wrong place at the wrong time... ---and stand still whilst he was being fired at 4 times, before the mortal blow. Hey, maybe Mr Moose deserved it after all. Yes, Mr Moose had it coming. ---

You can almost hear Palin muttering "Boom, head shot".

But back to the question before I lose my train of thought: Did Palin kill Bambi's mother?

The evidence on view --- As in 'on view to us all' not "The View" television program which could be described as a sort of 'chat show', but it could be described as a lot of other things. Some things I can't possibly repeat. But incase you're wondering 'The View' has big names such as Babs Walters, who is older than time its self. Shrewd political analysts like Whoopi Goldberg, the fat chick who used to be the sidekick to Robert Barone in 'Everybody Loves Raymond', the skinny blonde, who they take turns on dishing out verbal beat downs and some one called Joy Behar who apparently used to be funny, or should that be 'she used to be funny,allegedly'? ---

Anyway, the evidence on offer certainly supports the notion that is is more likely that Sarah Palin some how entered the magical world of Walt Disney, her seeing Russia from her window.

Just to jog everyones memory or if you've never seen the heart wrenching moment when Bambi realises he will forever be a latch key kid, you can see the clip (All copyright belongs to Disney) below. Maybe Hollyweird will end up remaking it but this time with...... wait for'll be in 3d... Wait for the gasps of "Oooooh. Ahhhhhh"

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Did Sarah Palin Shoot JR?

Did Sarah Palin shoot JR, the fictional character from the TV series Dallas?

Over the course of the week, Palin has been described by 'pundit' Chris Matthews* as being Qaddafi like but I personally feel that main stream media is missing the true story here.  That some how Sarah Palin manipulated the time barriers and managed to cross into the fictional universe of the Ewing Family and shoot the beloved TV character Jr Ewing, jnr, her motive is unknown.

Was Matthews really channeling his long standing theory that Palin is really some sort of dark force, Alaska's answer to Fu Manchu? At least, that is what Matthews is imploring us all to think, what would Ed Schult'z decency law make of that?

What do you think about Sarah Palin? Is it unfair to say she is responsible for the shooting of JR as much as she is responsible for the Tuczon shootings? Let me know what you think on the comments section at the bottom of the page.

Not only did Palin 'shoot' JR, she also orchestrated the Hollywood Actors Strike that followed the airing of the episode,  in a dick dastardly fashion to deprive the American people and viewers all over the world, of knowing the true identity of the assailant.  What a sadist. Makes her initiative to cull the number of cutesy fluffy wolves look like a walk in the park, wait lets make that a "walk in the wolverine free park".

Not everyone wants to end up like this poor soul
clicking here

To my knowledge, Muammar al-Gaddafi has not yet discovered the power of time travel so the comparison between Palin and Gaddafi is unfounded. 

So, does this inadvertently prove that Matthews was referring to the time travel theory, rather than accusing Palin of being an all out sponsorer of terrorism? I presume that is what Matthews meant when he said Qaddafi is Palin like. that Palin is some how like Qaddafi. Even his guests were a little dismayed at the comparison. (They might of been comfortable with a 'Sarah Palin is like Adolf Hitler)

Although Qaddafi's bizzare dress sense does suggest that he went back in time and stole Michael Jackson's act, as shown by

Perhaps one of the most indicant quotes to come from Qaddafi is as follows:
"All of the great prophets of modern times have come from the desert; Mohammed, Jesus and myself."  October 1988.

I suppose some where there is a quote that resembles Qaddafi's, where else would Matthews get the comparison from?

Alas, I couldn't find the elusive quote but I believe it goes something like this and if it doesn't, I made it all up and you can print it as gospel.

"All of the great prophets of modern times have come from the desert (Sandpoint, Idaho) Robinson, Stein and myself"

If I was a conspiracy theorist (Hey I just play one on the internet) I would say that Palin must have discovered time travel and must have shot JR, why? Because quite clearly the link between Qaddafi's speech where he uses the word 'desert' and Palin being born in sandpoint is no co-incidence.

*Matthews, described by  his fans, all five of them, as something resembling a beacon of truth and justice, in between wiping the spittle off his chin.


Of course if you believe any of this you are quite possibly moronic, or according to the Supreme Court "Intellectually disadvantaged".  Thank you for reading this.


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